Tired!!!

Is anyone tired of dealing with a mental illness? I know that I am tired of the warfare and just plain worn out right now as I speak. I happen to have one of the hardest to treat and its called Borderline Personality Disorder.I have had it for 31 years and I was diagnosed with it when I was 16 years old.I feel like I have been in the wilderness for more than 40 years.I keep holding on for after attempting suicide for 33 times and was a drug addict sex worker and that caused more trauma on top of what was already there.I am sick of taking medications and sick of going in and out of treatment centers and back in the day jails as well.. I quite frankly am at rock bottom and I have never felt this low since I got sober almost 12 years ago. I swear something needs to happen within a quickness.I am trying to write a book and I feel the enemy attacking me and when I go on Periscope I feel like I am not welcomed there.If anyone thinks that I enjoy living with this you are sadly mistaken. I am misunderstood yet I know that God has a plan for this. I want to just get to the point of getting friends. I am just not sure what to do anymore! I am at my wits end here! No one even seems like they are concerned about me. I know when I get out of this that I am never going to treat people like I am being treated.I want some solutions and I want to be apart of the solution instead f a problem! - Karlynda K writes!